


Your love makes me suck less

by Ha_ru66



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anxiety, Communication, Crying, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Getting Together, Guilt, Hajime Hinata is woke, Island Mode (Dangan Ronpa), Love Confessions, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Neck Kissing, Omega Verse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unspeakable amounts of communication
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-23 09:36:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23176066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ha_ru66/pseuds/Ha_ru66
Summary: From the moment Nagito met Hinata he felt a strange connection between them, which soon grew into love. But Nagito knew he didn't deserve to be loved or did he?Currently on hiatus
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 42
Kudos: 190





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This is the first fic I'm posting online, although it's not the first I've written. I'm quite proud of it and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'll try to upload daily.  
> Please bear in mind that English isn't my first language, so if you find any mistakes feel free to correct me in the comments :)  
> And lastly, I was able to write this only because of Corona quarantine, so thanks dear virus.

Despite being 17 Nagito’s dynamic wasn’t developed yet. It didn’t matter to him though, and it’s not like it was unhealthy, he had time until he was 20. He was content with how things were now and wouldn’t mind if he stayed like this for the rest of his life.

Nagito was always aware he wasn’t worthy of a mate. Having a dynamic would just mean someone might become interested in him, and he would hate to turn them down (for their own good). Of course, no one would want to date him for his personality or looks, he knew that, but his wealth and that he was an alfa could draw unwanted attention.

Well, he wasn’t 100% sure he was one, but with his parents both being alphas there was just a very small chance of not inheriting their dynamic. Since his parents' death, his relatives and caretakers treated Nagito as an alpha. Although, he knew that with his great luck the chances of being just an ordinary beta were quite high. He was mentally prepared for it.

When it came to Nagito’s love life – he never had anyone who would catch his interest. He was glad for this, making his goal of living in solitude easier to accomplish.

That is what he thought, at least until he found himself and his fifteen classmates stranded on Jabberwock Island forced to build good relationships and collect hope fragments. Nagito didn’t mind it, the island was after all a paradise, everyone had their own cabin, there was enough food to survive for a few years and he was okay with hanging out with a bunch of Ultimates. Yet, there was a thing he was deeply conflicted about… a boy. He was the first person to show genuine interest in Nagito, and there was a strange unexplainable connection between the two. Nagito was mesmerized by his beauty and personality from the moment they first talked. The boy's name was Hajime Hinata.

At first, Nagito wrote his feelings off as a stupid crush and decided to ignore them in the hope they would disappear. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the case. He and Hinata hung out almost every day and the more he got to know him the more he loved him. Nagito was euphoric when they were together, he felt like he was high like he was receiving shots of pure happiness. His self-hatred and despair completely disappeared when he was in Hinata’s company. In those times he seriously considered pursuing his relationship with him.

On the other hand, when he was alone or before he fell asleep, guilt haunted him. Nagito wasn’t supposed to be happy, he didn’t deserve to be loved. Sometimes his mind even tricked him into thinking Hinata actually hates him. His heart was torn, unable to tell what was his imagination and what was real.

Because of that, he decided to not try anything and simply settle for being Hinatas friend, after all the boy’s happiness brought happiness to Nagito. He could live with that.

And so Nagito buried his feelings.

.

.

.

Until the day something changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and encouraging comments give me validation and will to write faster. Critical comments help me improve my writing. So if you enjoyed this work, please leave at least one of those ♥.  
> I also made a [Tumblr](https://iamnotyouraverageoctopus.tumblr.com/), so talk to me there if you want :))  
> 


	2. 01.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagito panics a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. This chapter is twice as long as prologue and something actually happens in it. Yay! I also wrote it at 3 am and was very much feeling Nagito's anxiety. But I really enjoyed writing it.  
> I listened to Reversible Campaign, Donut hole and DRKR by Lidnesty on repeat while writing this.  
> I promise that future chapters won't be as depressing as this one :)  
> This chapter also contains a minor spoiler for Nagito's free time event.  
> Please bear in mind that English isn't my first language, so if you find any mistakes feel free to correct me in the comments :)  
> I hope you enjoy!

Nagito usually wakes up before the morning announcement. He likes to take his time getting up, exercising, showering and planning his day ahead, while still being one of first to arrive at breakfast.

Well, it seems today morning is an exception. Two things kept him in the bed for a lot longer than he is used to.

First hit him in the nose before he opened his eyes – the very sweet scent filling his room. It wasn’t unpleasant, yet he couldn’t say it was his favourite thing. He never smelled something like it. His first thought was that it was some tropical flower blooming, but after realizing none of his windows were open throughout the night he abandoned the idea. Nagito decided it was stupid wondering about its source and he should focus on getting it out of his room.

He tried to get off the bed to open the windows when the second thing hit him. His body felt quite sore, mainly the areas where his scent glands were – his neck, wrists and inner thighs. Not only that, but they were also bright pink.

Nagito may not have looked intelligent, but the opposite was true. So he put two and two easily together. He was the source of the sweet scent.

He was unsure what to think of this, Nagito never feared the day he reached sexual maturity, but he also never looked forward to it. Not knowing how to feel about his current situation he went to take a shower. There he concluded he wasn’t comfortable with anyone knowing about it, at least until he knew what his dynamic was. With the exception of Hinata, but he won’t confront him about the topic until he makes up his mind about how he is feeling about it.

When he came out of shower Nagito was satisfied he managed to get rid of his scent. He was aware this state won’t last longer than half an hour, but that was enough for him to eat his breakfast, return to his cabin and take another shower. He checked the clock, it was long after he usually arrived at the restaurant, he was probably gonna be the last one to come. It wasn’t an issue, if he was asked he will blame it on oversleeping.

* * *

The second he stepped into the restaurant he regretted it. The mixture of his classmates' scents attacked his sense of smell and he felt nauseous and completely overwhelmed.

He registered the cheerful voice of Hinata greeting him from where he was sitting, an empty seat next to him, reserved for Nagito. He wanted to say something, but the only thing on his mind was to flee back to his cabin, yet he couldn’t move an inch.

‘Uhm? Are you good??’ Hinata sounded pretty concerned. No one except him was paying attention to the white-haired boy, despite that he felt like he was the centre of the attention. Anxiety and paranoia were the only things he could feel right now. He knew he was even paler than usual and his heart was beating so fast it could jump out of his chest. He was probably looking like a corpse.

Nagito couldn’t stand it anymore, he used all his willpower and strength to sprint back to his beautiful, safe cabin that smelled only like him and no one else. He heard Hinata calling his name and yelling at him to wait. The boy he was interested in was running after him. If Nagito didn’t feel like throwing up and just awful in general he would point out the situation was just like from a shoujo manga.

When Nagito reached his destination he immediately collapsed on the floor, his back slightly leaning against the door. A few seconds after were his ears assaulted by Hinata’s desperate knocks and questions.

‘What happened? Are you okay? Please, Komaeda, say something so I know you are conscious. Please, answer me!’

Nagito didn’t have the energy to keep his eyes open, despite that he somehow managed to mutter against the door ‘Please give me a minute.’ just loudly enough to reach Hinata, who replied with relieved ‘okay’.

He had no clue how long it took him to gather enough strength to stand up and open the door, but when he did he found Hinata, looking absolutely relieved at the sight of Nagito.

‘Komaeda, thank God you are okay. You scared me back there.’ Hinata took a step forward Nagito, who for reason unknown to him instinctively shut ajar the door enough to make only half of his face visible to the other boy. Hinata looked at him, visibly confused. ‘What…?'

Nagito couldn’t speak, and even if he could, he didn’t know what to tell Hinata. He wasn’t acting out of his own will but on instinct.

After a while of standing on the doorstep in silence, Nagito calmed down and Hinata started to look less lost and more understanding of the whole situation. He also started to breath more deeply.

‘Fuck’ Nagito thought. He just then realised he was sweating, and his sweet scent reeked from him. But he wasn’t the only thing he could smell. The beautiful flowery scent coming from Hinata completely swallowed him. He smelled like love, home, like the place Nagito was supposed to be at.

‘Komaeda, by any chance, did your dynamic-‘ The words woke Nagito up from daydreaming.

‘Yeah.’ The white-haired boy muttered. He had to admit, he abso-fucking-lutely loved the way his luck fucked with his plans.

‘Umm… Welcome to adulthood then?’ Hinata laughed nervously, obviously feeling awkward. ‘Ah, sorry that was stupid, but you really don’t look very good, can I help you somehow?’

Nagito didn’t know what to tell the boy standing in front of him, he tried to figure out something that would improve his current circumstances while aggressively ignoring the voice inside his head screaming ‘Hinata-kun cuddle mee!’

God, he didn’t know what got into him, was this how adulthood felt like? He hoped not. But back to the current issue, the only thing he could think of was his empty stomach. He tried to voice this, but with his mouth still having troubles forming coherent sentences ‘…food?’ was the only sound that came out of him.

‘Okay, I’ll be right back with something light. And don’t worry, I’m just gonna tell the others you are feeling sick.’ Hinata smiled at Nagito and ran towards the restaurant.

Nagito closed the door and thought about how the smile he received cured his cancer (it probably didn’t but he could dream).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and encouraging comments give me validation and will to write faster. Critical comments help me improve my writing. So if you enjoyed this work, please leave at least one of those ♥.  
> I also made a [Tumblr](https://iamnotyouraverageoctopus.tumblr.com/), so talk to me there if you want :))  
> 


	3. 02.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagito and Hinata talk a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This chapter was super hard to write and I've rewritten it several times. Despite that, I feel like it came out okay. Also, it's like twice as long as I anticipated it to be and I don't know how to feel about that.  
> I have to thank my friend who proofreads this fanfiction for really helping me out with the first part of this chapter because I have apparently zero clue about how people talk T-T.  
> Please bear in mind that English isn't my first language, so if you find any mistakes feel free to correct me in the comments :)  
> I hope you enjoy it!

Before Hinata returned with food, Nagito was able to pull himself together enough to be actually capable of speech. He went to the bathroom to check himself in the mirror. He looked like a total mess. His neck, cheeks and tips of ears were red, not to mention his bangs were stuck to his forehead. Nagito didn’t understand how he turned into _this_ , in like eight minutes. He swiftly washed his face with cool water and soap. Surprisingly it really helped.

Feeling and looking more composed Nagito went to open the front door when he heard Hinata’s soft knocking. He brought him a bowl of fruits and croissant. The white-haired boy was glad for this choice of food because despite being hungry he didn’t feel like eating much.

‘Hey, you seem to be doing better than before I left. I’m glad.’ Hinata handed the food to Nagito with a smile.

‘Thank you. It means a lot to me, Hinata-kun.’

‘Don’t even mention it.’ The boy replied, but it seemed he had something else on his mind.

‘Well then, I guess I’ll go. Enjoy the rest of your day.’ Nagito wanted to shut the door, but Hinata shoved his hand between the doorframe and the door itself to stop it from closing completely. ‘Wait!’ But it was too late, Hinata’s hand was caught between them.

‘Oh fuck, sorry did I hurt you?’ Nagito immediately reopened the door and looked at Hinata’s hand, a red line running across his fingers where they met the doorframe.

‘No, no, it’s fine.’ Hinata was shaking and his hand like it wasn’t fine.

‘I just wanted to ask you if I could… come in?’

‘Oh no, Hinata-kun you wasted enough of your precious time on trash like me already! Please feel free to use this day to take, I believe, a very much needed break from me-’

Hinata tilted his head ‘Uh, Komaeda, what are you talking about? I can’t just leave my _closest friend_ on his own when he is obviously not feeling well. And I kind of feel like talking to you.’

Words ‘closest friend’ rang beautifully in Nagito’s ears. They made him so happy and to think that Hinata assigned him such an important role in his life! Maybe this day wasn’t so unlucky after all.

‘Or, could it be…? Do you actually find my scent too uncomfortable or overwhelming? I’m sorry, I should’ve been more thoughtful. I forgot you could smell me now.’ The boy looked completely guilty, and with a small voice he added, ’I’ll go, I'm soo sorry.’

But, it wasn’t like that at all, Nagito didn’t want the brunette to think he finds him disgusting when the opposite was true!

‘No, it’s not like that, your scent, just like your whole being, brings me true serenity, and you smell really, really nice.’ God, why did it felt like a love confession? ‘I swear I just didn’t fancy the idea of bothering you any more than was necessary.’

A blush spread across Hinata’s cheeks, ‘Spending time with you doesn’t bother me at all. I told you a million times.’ With a smile, he looked at the ground. ‘And I… Uh, thank you. You smell very nice too.’

A pregnant pause followed, Nagito was unsure what to do. Was he supposed to invite Hinata in, or wait for him to take action? He was so confused, but one thing he knew for sure, he wanted to be in Hinata’s presence for the rest of this baffling day, he didn’t want him to leave. He knew it was selfish from him, but he suddenly couldn’t bring himself to care.

‘So, can I come in?’ Nagito felt immediate relief wash over him when Hinata decided to break the silence, and he responded with maybe too much enthusiastic ‘Of course!’

* * *

‘Can you tell which dynamic I am?’ Nagito asked after they were both comfortably seated in his room, Hinata on the couch and the white-haired boy on his bed nibbling at the tasty food he received. He was glad Hinata chose to sit further from him, despite being used to sitting on his bed when he came over. Nagito often preferred to feel the boy’s presence close to him, but for some reason not right now.

‘No, I can’t. Actually, I can’t even smell you right now, your scent is too faint.’

‘Really?’ Nagito’s eyes widened at the brunette, ‘It feels like I reek, and the scent is too intense for my nose. Well, not only mine, everyone's scents seem to be overwhelmingly strong.’ Shiver ran down Nagito’s spine when he remembered what he felt in the restaurant.

‘That’s because your sense of smell is currently at its peak, it literally won't ever be as sensitive as it will be next month or so, that’s individual. On the other hand, your scent will be getting stronger and the intensity will also settle at a degree in approximately a month. That is also a time by which, in case you are a beta, others will be able to tell you are.’

‘Woah. You know a lot about it. Hinata-kun, you must be truly interested in reproductive biology!’

‘Um, it’s not like that.’ The other boy slightly bowed his head and broke the eye-contact between him and Nagito, ‘I just went through this when I was 13 and it was so stressful and embarrassing, the experience and knowledge just burnt into my memory.’ Hinata rubbed the back of his neck while his eyes darted back at the one sitting on the bed.

‘Ou, that’s very unusual for a dynamic to present itself at such a young age. I doubt I could’ve handled it.’

‘You know, that part wasn’t as bad. I mean, of course, I was confused and scared, but it was nothing in comparison with my first rut, which hit me in the middle of the day at a fucking school. I really cursed my parents for not talking to me about this stuff and I did excessive research on my own… Hey Komaeda, are you listening to me?’

No, he wasn’t. He stopped at the word ‘rut’ and it took him a while to digest the fact that- ‘You’re an alpha??’ Nagito asked with wide eyes.

‘Uh, yeah?’

‘You don’t smell like I imagined alpha to smell. Your scent is so calming and soft.’

‘Yea, I hear that often, but Komaeda you are aware that alphas don’t have to be an embodiment of aggression and strength, right? No one has to follow the stereotypes society dictates us. Look at Nidai, he might be muscular, treating and radiating a strong alpha aura, but he’s a beta.’

Well, that was unexpected. Nagito’s mouth was hanging slightly ajar. ‘I’m sorry Hinata, I didn’t mean to offend you, I just-‘

‘I know you didn’t mean anything bad when you said it. It’s just a bit annoying to hear it all the time. But just so you know I'm not angry at you or anything.’ Hinata said, and he looked like he meant it. The boy sitting on the bed was relieved and he made a mental note to not stereotype Hinata, he felt like he got to know his crush a lot better through than conversation.

* * *

Hinata stayed in Nagito’s cabin the whole day. They talked about all sorts of things, like their favourite mangas or tv shows and a lot more. The time flew fast and they really enjoyed themselves.

When the time for dinner approached Hinata decided to go snatch something for himself and Nagito so they won’t have to sleep with an empty stomach. After he returned they ate together on Nagito’s bed and here they also fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and encouraging comments give me validation and will to write faster. Critical comments help me improve my writing. So if you enjoyed this work, please leave at least one of those ♥.  
> I also made a [Tumblr](https://iamnotyouraverageoctopus.tumblr.com/), so talk to me there if you want :))  
> 


	4. 03.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagito and Hinata wake up together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, as you can notice, this chapter is short. It's actually just a half of what I wanted to post today. I had to divide it into 2 chapters because I haven't finished writing it and I reaaaly wanted to post something today.  
> Please bear in mind that English isn't my first language, so if you find any mistakes feel free to correct me in the comments :)  
> I hope you enjoy!

When Nagito woke up the first thing he saw was Hinata’s face so close to his own he could kiss him without having to move an inch. It wasn’t the first time they shared a bed, in fact, it was rather normal for them. ‘Accidents’ like that occurred almost every few days and both of them were pretty used to it.

Nagito spent the next couple minutes appreciating the beauty of Hinata before he decided to get ready for breakfast. His plan to avoid yesterday’s incident was to finish eating before anyone else arrived at the restaurant. So he’s going to go immediately and do his morning routine afterwards.

He got off the bed as silently as possible to not wake up Hinata, who he knew likes to sleep until the morning announcement, which is judging by the amount of light outside more than an hour away.

‘Hey.’ says, apparently no longer sleeping, boy just when the other starts walking towards to front door.

Nagito loves Hinata’s morning voice, it’s raspy and slightly deeper than his usual tone. It sends shivers down his spine when he hears it.

‘Hey. Sorry, I woke you up.’ Nagito looked at Hinata apologetically, but the other didn't appear to be angry or annoyed, it was actually opposite. He was smiling with a gentle expression on his face.

‘No, it’s fine. How did you sleep?’

‘Um, it could have been better. How ‘bout you?’ He had to admit that the quality of his sleep was the only thing Hinata’s presence had no positive effect on.

Because it looked like Hinata wanted to talk the white-haired boy went and sat on the edge of the bed. If it was for him the breakfast could wait.

‘I slept really well. Actually, I feel like I do every time we sleep together.’

‘You might want to rephrase that.’ Nagito almost said but didn’t want to ruin this moment they were having. So instead he settled for ‘I’m glad presence of trash like me could be useful to you.’

‘Uhhh,,, yeah, sure… Anyway, what are you doing up so early?’

‘I was on my way to the restaurant. I uh, don’t feel like repeating yesterday, you know? I should actually go now, I will be back in less than 15 minutes so you can go back to sleep.’

‘I’ll go with you.’ Hinata said as he was sitting up.

‘No. I know you like to sleep longer, don’t restrict yourself just to please me.’ As Nagito stood up Hinata grabbed him by the wrist. The feeling of touch was pleasant and warm and Nagito wished he could feel this every second for the rest of his pathetic life.

‘I doubt I can fall asleep again and I’m super hungry. So let's go together.’ The brunette said with one of his smiles full of hope. And Nagito could not argue with him anymore.

* * *

‘So, I was wondering for a while about when I will know which dynamic I have? You mentioned yesterday that if I’m a beta, others would be able to tell in a month. What about the other two?’ Nagito asked after few minutes of eating in silence with Hinata.

‘Oh, if you are an alpha you’ll find out when your rut starts. In that case, it should occur in two months and then every two. And if you are an omega you too technically find out about it when your heat starts which should be in 4 months and then every 4 months. But some important signs appear a week before it, that can warn you beforehand. Like instinctively building a nest in your bed or your scent would slightly change, not enough for you to notice, but betas, thanks to having the best sense of smell of all, should be able to pick up on it. Same goes for a mate if you will have one, no matter which dynamic they have.’

‘As expected from an Ultimate! You know so much.’ Nagito’s eyes were sparkling, moments like this were exactly why he loved Hinata so much.

* * *

‘By the way, I’ve been thinking about how to help you get used to scents of our classmates… and I came up with something. You know, a mix of 15 different scents can be very overwhelming for you, but if you got used to everyone one by one that should be easier on your nose.’ Hinata suggested while they were walking back to their cabins.

‘That sounds good, I really have no idea what would I do without you Hinata-kun. Could you be with me, while I’ll be spending time with others? I feel like if you were on my side, I would feel a lot calmer.’ Nagito looked at the ground.

‘Sure. Do you think we could go meet someone today?’ Hinata stopped walking when they reached his cabin, so Nagito stopped too. ‘Yeah. Why not?’ he replied with a smile.

‘Okay. I’ll go take a shower and then return to you so, we can discuss who we’ll go talk to.’

And just like that, they parted. By the time Nagito reached his cabin loneliness and guilt crept into his mind. But it was okay, he will be with Hinata in a short time again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on my posting schedule will be more irregular, I got a lot of work assigned from school and I will have to focus on it primarily. I will try to post at least once per 3 days. But I'm going to post tomorrow because the chapter is almost written.  
> Kudos and encouraging comments give me validation and will to write faster. Critical comments help me improve my writing. So if you enjoyed this work, please leave at least one of those ♥.  
> I also made a [Tumblr](https://iamnotyouraverageoctopus.tumblr.com/), so talk to me there if you want :))  
> 


	5. 04.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone goes into a rut. I wonder who.  
> And also, tables have turned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo. This chapter was incredibly fun to write because big things happen in it. I'm very excited about it.  
> Please bear in mind that English isn't my first language, so if you find any mistakes feel free to correct me in the comments :)  
> Hope you enjoy reading it!

It’s been two weeks since Nagito, accompanied by Hinata, started meeting up with his classmates to accommodate to their scents. He had to admit it was going surprisingly well.

Most of them smelled boring or uninteresting to him so much so he didn’t even bother to remember their dynamics, but three people caught his interest. The first was Gundham, who was the only omega in the group and his scent was very sweet and actually pleasant.

The second was Nanami. She, just like until recently Nagito, didn’t have a dynamic yet. Despite that Nagito was sure he could smell her if he leaned close to her. He couldn’t describe her scent because she didn’t smell of anything materialistic, but rather a feeling of safety and a long lost memory. How could someone have a scent like that? Nagito didn’t have an answer, that’s why he asked Hinata. However, according to him, Nanami was scentless.

And the last one was Kuzuryu who gets very defensive whenever dynamics are mentioned and uses scent blockers to keep his scent completely neutral, subsequently making his dynamic unknown. Most of his classmates found his secretiveness annoying, but Nagito thinks it would be out of character for him to act any other way.

The reason Nagito liked spending time with Kuzuryu was that with him he could forget about all the scary things his classmates’ scents reminded him of, like ruts, heats, following social hierarchy or mating. These things were inevitably awaiting him and he doubted useless scum like him could it. But Kuzuryu’s lack of proper scent brought him back to the times he didn’t have to worry about it.

* * *

Today Nagito and Hinata were hanging out with Souda because he was the last person the white-haired boy wasn’t used to yet. They were together in the library, Souda was talking about something to Hinata who didn’t seem to be very invested, although he was paying attention. Unlike Nagito, he was staring out of the window and seemed to be lost in his thoughts.

‘Huh? Hinata, are you feeling okay? You look like you have a fever!’ Mention of his crush brought Nagito back to reality. Souda was right, Hinata’s face was bright red.

‘No, I feel alright, are you sure?’

Nagito instinctively reached for Hinata and placed his palm against his forehead. The brunette’s face turned even redder than it already was.

‘Hinata-kun, you are burning. We should get you to Tsumiki.’ Nagito’s tone was full of worry.

A realization shot through Hinata’s eyes. He covered his mouth with his hand and slowly stood up. ‘Yeah… I mean NO! Let’s not bother her.’ He ran his hands through his hair in distress. ‘But you're right I'm not feelin’ well, I’ll go and sleep it off. Okay?’ he smiled nervously.

‘I’m going with you, if you are not feeling well I can’t just leave you on your own!’ Nagito wanted to help Hinata as much as possible.

‘No, you stay here,’ Hinata was almost yelling, ‘and enjoy the rest of the day, please don’t worry about me.’ And with that, he calmly walked out, but Nagito saw him sprinting the second he stepped out of the library.

This event left Nagito deeply worried and determined to check on him immediately after he and Souda part their ways, which was after 10 minutes of awkward silence.

* * *

‘I told you to not come.’ Hinata tried to sound annoyed, but every other aspect of his body language revealed he was happy to see Nagito.

‘I was worried about you.’ Nagito said as he was examining the boy in front of him. He wasn’t wearing his tie and his shirt was halfway unbuttoned revealing a big portion of his flushed chest. His face was a little less red than before.

Hinata sighed, ‘I don’t know what to do with you anymore. Come in.’

When they sat on the bed next to each other Nagito realized something. This room smelled different, not only that, Hinata smelled different. It was a very subtle change but it hit Nagito like a truck. Because what he smelled was…

‘You smell like sex.’ The white-haired boy could feel a blush spread across his cheeks, unable to control his thoughts.

‘That’s… uh, yeah. I’m going into a rut. It’s two weeks early so it caught me off guard.’ Hinata was looking at the ground while he was speaking, too embarrassed to look the other in the eyes.

‘Wait, what? You’re in a rut??’

Hinata laughed nervously, ‘Not yet, but by the nighttime announcement yes.’

‘Can I help you somehow?’ Shit, that came out wrong. Thankfully Hinata didn’t seem to notice.

‘Actually, if you could lock me up in here for two days, that would be helpful.’

‘No way! I can’t just leave you without any food after you helped me so generously when I wasn’t feeling well. Also, why two days? Doesn’t rut last only a day?’

‘For most alphas, it’s like that, but not me. Mine lasts two fucking days.’

‘Oh, a reason more why I should take care of you. You can’t starve for two days!’

‘Okay.’ It took Nagito by a surprise that Hinata changed his mind so easily. ‘But promise me, you’ll visit only to bring food, leave as fast as possible and always lock the door.’

‘I’m cool with that.’ Nagito said with a smile.

‘Okay… You know, I don’t want to kick you out, but I wanted to have a bath before I go into a rut and also it’s kind of hard to handle myself when you’re in the same room as me.’ Hinata licked his lips.

Huh? Did he just…? No, that’s not possible. Nagito is just overthinking it.

The white-haired boy stood up and walked over to the front door. ‘Do you want me to lock the door now, or when I come back with dinner?’

‘Please lock me in here now.’ Hinata’s voice sounded very desperate.

After Nagito left Hinata’s cabin he strolled across the islands to clear his head and organize his thoughts, because there was a lot on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and encouraging comments give me validation and will to write faster. Critical comments help me improve my writing. So if you enjoyed this work, please leave at least one of those ♥.  
> I also made a [Tumblr](https://iamnotyouraverageoctopus.tumblr.com/), so talk to me there if you want :))  
> 


	6. 05.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata is in a rut and Nagito feels like it's going to drive him insane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I'm very sorry it took so long to write this chapter, I had a lot of school work and I got a UTI so I wasn't feeling like writing for a few days.  
> But!! In this chapter happens so much, I was looking forward to it for a while and many parts I had in mind before I even started writing this.  
> Also, this chapter marks half of this fanfic.  
> Please bear in mind that English isn't my first language, so if you find any mistakes feel free to correct me in the comments :)  
> Hope you enjoy!

When Nagito returned to Hinata in the late afternoon he, before anything else, noticed the change in the scent filling the room. It was very musky and strong, but still faintly flowery (Nagito learnt, it was something that made Hinata different from other alphas, whose scents were mostly bitter or sour). If the brunette smelt like that, Nagito would never doubt his dynamic.

That wasn’t the only thing hanging in the air though, the scent of sex got at least infinitely worse than it was before. It had become incredibly suffocating and arousing. The second Nagito stepped into Hinata’s cabin, he felt an important part of his brain shut off.

‘Oh, you came earlier than I expected you to.’ Hinata sat up, on his bed. He was wearing just his boxers. Nagito tried his best to not stare but failed miserably. It wasn’t the first time he saw him shirtless, they went swimming together several times, still, he felt captivated. Hinata was truly beautiful. He also noticed that he looked a lot better than before – his chest wasn’t flushed and he appeared more composed.

But he couldn’t just stand there and stare, the alpha was waiting for a response. ‘Yeah, cuz’ I missed you.’ Nagito said while he was walking towards blushing Hinata and handed him his dinner.

‘You seem to be doing better.’

Hinata laughed nervously, ‘That’s just calm before the storm, I think I’m fully going into a rut in like 2 hours. By the way, I know I asked you to leave as soon as you bring me food, but could you stay here for a while?’ Hinata broke the eye contact between them. ‘I actually… kind of missed you too, and I probably won’t be able to talk to you for two days. So I, uhh… you know…thought we could talk now for a while.’ With every word, he said, Hinata was getting more and more visibly embarrassed. Nagito thought it was adorable.

‘Sure, I would never pass on a chance to spend more time with Hinata-kun.’ He replied as he was sitting on a couch. Nagito would sit next to Hinata, but now he felt like he was having trouble handling himself. ‘So what did you do after I left?’

‘Well, like I said I would, I took a bath and then fell asleep. I actually woke up just before you came. You?’

‘I went for a walk around the island and after a while, Nanami bumped into me and offered me to join her and other girls baking. It went surprisingly well, I think spending time with them in the past weeks helped us to open up to each other more.’ Nagito was truly glad he was at least partially accepted by his Ultimate classmates. It was something he always longed for, to not be feared or hated. He knew it was only possible thanks to Hinata’s presence in his life.

‘I even baked something! But it turned out to be mildly poisoning and Tsumiki had to take Mioda to hospital. She’s okay though, and didn’t seem angry about it at all.’ Nagito laughed nervously.

They talked for the next hour or so and when Nagito noticed Hinata’s symptoms of a rut coming back, he politely excused himself. Hinata looked disappointed.

* * *

The following day was very uneventful. Both times Nagito went to check up on Hinata and bring him food the boy was curled under the bedsheets, so Nagito didn’t have a chance to either see or talk to him. And he really wanted to see him in his rut. Sweaty, flushed, aroused, moaning mess… And he knew he should not let his fantasy run wild, but he just couldn’t help it, not when Hinata’s scent seemed to be stuck in his nose permanently.

* * *

When Nagito brought dinner to Hinata in the next evening he wasn’t in his bed and the glassy wall separating the main room from the bathroom was foggy. The white-haired boy assumed Hinata was taking a shower, although he couldn’t hear the water running.

Nagito noticed a shift in the scent filling the room, it decreased in intensity, but it wasn’t enough to stop driving him crazy. His rut was coming to an end though. He put the plate with food on the brunette's bed and as he was about to leave, Hinata came out of the bathroom.

His hair was damp, his cheeks red, his shirt was, for the first time in a few days, fully buttoned up and his tie was hanging around his collar, untied. But he still wasn’t wearing any pants just his underwear. Nagito couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful he was.

Hinata seemed genuinely surprised when he saw Nagito, but his eyes were immediately filled with softness and something… wild. Nagito felt shivers running down his spine when their eyes met, Hinata smirked and came so close to him, they could almost breathe the same air.

‘Hey, I was not expecting you this early.’

‘Oh, I-I’m sorry, I was just on my way out.’ Nagito took a step back from Hinata, but he grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a tight embrace. Hinata’s body felt so warm against his own, they fitted perfectly. The alpha buried his nose into the part of Nagito’s neck where his scent gland was and inhaled deeply.

The white-haired boy was absolutely euphoric and confused. Physical contact wasn’t rare between them, but this was definitely the closest they have ever been, he felt like he could abandon all his body needs and live just from this sensation. On the other hand, though, he didn’t understand what was going on, why Hinata hugged him out of nowhere? He wasn’t complaining of course! But various questions were flooding his mind and didn’t allow him to enjoy this moment to it’s fullest.

‘You smell so fucking good.’ Hinata said and licked Nagito’s neck from his scent gland to the ear.

Wait, he did _what_?

‘I couldn’t get you out of my head past two days, I thought I was already thinking about you nonstop but turns out, the rut can take that to the whole another level.’ Hinata said while he was tracing kissed along the other’s jawline.

‘You know I felt things towards you before, but I was confused. But your scent, because of it those feelings finally started making sense.’ Now he savoured gently kissing and licking the others’ collarbones.

Nagito was lost. On the one hand, he was in heaven. The words, kisses, scent and just Hinata’s presence brought him so up high. But he had still so many questions and concerns. Like, was Hinata serious? He knew alphas don’t say things in the rut they didn’t mean. Only in cases when it is necessary for them in order to get laid. But that could not have been Hinata’s motivation, at least not when his rut was coming to an end. Another evidence supporting it was the way he kissed him. He didn’t bite or leave any marks on his neck, what is something an alpha in a rut, just needing a satisfaction, would definitely do. But Hinata was gentle and slow.

So did that mean… he was serious about having feelings for him? No, that couldn’t be true, no one could love someone like-

‘Komaeda, I think I’m in love with you.’ Hinata stopped kissing him and looked deep into Nagito’s eyes.

He started crying. There was so much going on in his heart, the happiness, the guilt, the love, the self-hatred, it all merged together and it overwhelmed him. His tears were big and full of emotions.

‘Komaeda!? What-‘

‘I’m sorry, I just need to think.’ And he stormed out, leaving Hinata worried and confused.

.

.

.

The next day Nagito didn’t go to breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and encouraging comments give me validation and will to write faster. Critical comments help me improve my writing. So if you enjoyed this work, please leave at least one of those ♥.  
> I also made a [Tumblr](https://iamnotyouraverageoctopus.tumblr.com/), so talk to me there if you want :))  
> 


	7. 06.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love confession Pt. 2  
> Let's hope it goes right this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, once again I'm sorry for not posting earlier :((  
> More than half of this chapter was actually written a week ago but from then on I struggled a lot. It's my first time writing smut and what led to it and I really wanted it to be as good as possible. Ironically, this chapter still doesn't contain any smut (I'm very sorry) but has more than 2500 words!! It's the longest chapter I've written in this work.  
> Please bear in mind that English isn't my first language, so if you find any mistakes feel free to correct me in the comments :)  
> I apologize in advance for the ending, I promise I'll post the continuation of this chapter in, at most, 2 days.

Nagito’s sleep was uneasy and discontinuous that night, he spent at least half of it crying and having a very violent internal battle over what to do next. He knew the best thing would be to explain Hinata, that his feelings must be a mistake, that he is a terrible and unloveable scum, that he deserves to live and die in solitude and that there is no way someone amazing, beautiful and talented like Hinata should waste his time on him.

Nagito had those words prepared ever since he was aware of the possibility someone might want to form a romantic relationship with him. He was prepared to list them everything bad about himself (and there was a lot). He was even ready to make the person detest him if it was necessary.

But with Hinata… he wasn’t so sure anymore. He really wanted to say that the battle inside his mind was a tie. However, it was not. The side of him that wanted to tell Hinata he loved him more than anything else in the world won with prevalence and he had to admit the tears he cried throughout the night were mostly of joy.

And he tried to battle this, but no matter how much he reminded himself that it was selfish and he absolutely wasn’t worthy of his love, he couldn’t. Because where his self-hatred and shame used to be, there was now only Hinata and the heavenly feeling of his lips on Nagito’s neck.

* * *

The room was brightly lit when Nagito woke up, it must have been shortly after the end of the breakfast. Last time he remembered being awake, the sun was barely rising up. He got approximately two hours of undisturbed sleep since then.

‘That was tonight’s record.’ He thought as he sat up and rubbed his sore eyes. Despite sleeping roughly for four hours he miraculously didn’t feel very tired. He could even name a few mornings when he woke up feeling more groggy than today.

A few soft knocks pulled him from his thoughts.

‘Komaeda, it’s me. I know you probably don’t want to see me, but I need to talk to you.’ Nagito’s heart jumped at the familiar and beloved voice. Immediately after, panic and anxiety washed over him. He was in no shape to see Hinata right now!! Nagito still hasn’t figured out how to react to yesterday’s confession.

Well, no, that wasn’t entirely true, he knew very well what he wanted to do, there was just a lot of emotional stuff keeping him from it.

‘I’ll wait here until you are ready to face me. Take however much time you need, I don’t mind spending here a day.’ And with that Nagito heard a small thud, the brunette probably sat down on the floor.

‘He basically trapped me here.’ Nagito sighed. Hinata could be at times surprisingly forceful. It wasn’t like he wanted to avoid confronting him, he just wished for a little more time.

But, he had to work with what he got, so he decided to use the time to wash up. Nagito didn’t fancy the idea of Hinata seeing him in his current state, his eyes were pink and puffy and his cheeks stained by dried tears.

When he looked and felt somewhat more presentable he walked towards the door and right before he touched the doorknob, he thought about the situation once more.

Nagito recognized he was only running in circles, so thinking any further about it was useless. Instead, he decided to simply trust his luck, he hoped he would choose the right words when the time came. And with that, he opened the door.

Hinata was indeed sitting on the ground, ‘K-Komaeda!’ his eyes immediately met Nagito’s. He stood up and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

They were standing there for a while, not saying anything, just staring at each other. It gave Nagito chance to examine the boy in front of him. Firstly, he noticed his eyes were slightly red, was he crying too?

Secondly, Hinata looked painfully sad and guilty. Oh, so that’s how it was!

‘Do you want to come in?’ Hinata just silently nodded.

Nagito sat on his bed and Hinata stood awkwardly in the middle of the room when they came in.

‘You can sit next to me if you want.’ Nagito tapped an empty space next to him.

‘Okay.’ He sat down and looked at the ground.

Another beat of silence passed when Hinata spoke, ‘I’m very sorry about what I did yesterday, I had no right to touch you like that without your consent. I’m truly sorry, I shouldn’t have. But…’ He looked deep into Nagito’s eyes, his eyes were filled with sincerity and love. ‘Everything I said was true. I truly do love you Komaeda, with my whole heart.’

He gently touched Nagito’s cheek, ‘You are so kind, beautiful and smart. I know you probably don’t think that about yourself, but you really are amazing. You were here for me when I was lost and confused, you brightened my days since we arrived at this crazy island. And yeah, sometimes you can be quite annoying and you definitely need a good therapist, but nonetheless, I love you from the bottom of my heart.’

While Nagito listened to those beautiful words he closed his eyes and slowly leaned into the hand on his cheek and placed his own hand on top of Hinata’s.

Tears rolled down his face when he opened his eyes. ‘I love you too.’

At that moment Nagito must’ve been the happiest person in the whole universe, the word euphoria wasn’t even close to describing how he felt. And yet, he still couldn’t…

‘But, I am not wort-‘ Hinata kissed him. It was clumsy, but whatever, Hinata was kissing him so it was absolutely great. And the thing about not being worthy of him? Fuck that, he wanted Hinata like nothing in the world.

God, he couldn’t believe that it was actually happening. Maybe it was just a dream, but Hinata’s lips felt so beautifully real against his own there was no way it wasn’t real.

It was just a morning and the day already hit the highest level of amazing. Nagito couldn’t help but wonder what kind of ungodly bad luck would follow. But for now, he should focus on Hinata, who meanwhile managed to slip his tongue inside his mouth. It was sloppy and the brunette had obviously no clue what he was doing, it wasn’t like Nagito was doing better, though. He was trying his best to copy Hinata, but he was sure he wasn’t very good at it. That wasn’t an issue, they had all the time in the world to learn it together.

The kiss didn’t last nearly as long as Nagito hoped it would, however, Hinata seemed to be running out of the air. After looking at each other for a while the alpha broke the silence, ‘Komaeda, you deserve the world and I love you, so just to make sure. Are you okay with dating me?’

‘Y-yeah, I love you too. But, you know, I’m not very sure what it means, what is going to change between us?’

‘Hey, don’t worry about that. We’ll go at the pace that we are both comfortable with. How about we start with calling each other by the first name?’

‘Really? Are you okay with that?’

‘Of course, Nagito.’ His heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name.

* * *

Hajime was curled against Nagito’s side, already sleeping soundly, unlike the other. They were spending the night at the brunette’s cabin because Nagito’s was currently under repair due to being flooded by a broken washing machine.

Small acts of bad luck, like this one, followed him since they got together – two weeks ago. But he didn’t mind, Nagito was aware they were just compensation for the good luck he was experiencing right now. And as long as it didn’t directly affect Hajime, he was fine with some small injuries and machines breaking down around him.

Nagito looked at sleeping Hajime, he seemed to be on cloud nine even in his sleep. Moments like this were his favourite, they gave him a chance to think about all the things that led to them.

From the day they became mates they were basically joined at the hip, always holding hands, leaning against each other or hugging. They weren’t very secretive about the new nature of their relationship so all their classmates sooner or later caught on. Although no one said anything to them directly, they all seemed to accept them as a couple.

Not much had changed between the two when they were alone. They were still talking about anything and everything and enjoying moments of comfortable silence, but now with the addition of making out for hours. That and also the fact they were mostly shirtless and touching each other a lot. But they usually didn’t go very far, once one of them noticed other’s arousal they’d start kissing less passionately and more gently and soon they eighter picked up where they left the conversation, fell asleep or excused themselves (which was, at least for Nagito, to take care of the business, however, he was pretty sure Hajime’s reason was the same).

Nagito was quite content with how things were now, but it’d be a lie to say he wasn’t curious or that he did not anticipate more.

* * *

Nagito was sitting on Hajime’s lap, his eyes were closed and head tilted as he was melting under his touch. It was the next morning and after they washed up there was still an hour until the breakfast so Hajime suggested using the spare time to renew fading marks and hickeys on Nagito’s neck. So that’s what they were doing right now.

Both of them grew to love this activity. Nagito thought for Hinata it was mostly his alpha instincts acting out, but for him, it meant so much. After his whole life of believing he would never be loved let alone wanted, there was Hajime – constantly showing him affection and love. When Nagito looked in the mirror and saw countless love bites and marks scattered across his neck and chest, he was reminded that what he was experiencing was real. It was not a dream or a hallucination. It was his proof he belonged with Hajime Hinata.

‘So, I’ve been thinking…’ The words of his lover woke him up from the sweet daydreaming.

‘About what?’ When Nagito opened his eyes to see why Hajime stopped working on his neck, he saw something he didn’t like.

The alpha wasn’t looking at him and his face had an unreadable, probably negative, expression. He was thinking about something that wasn’t good.

Oh God, a wave of cold sweat washed over Nagito. ‘He is going to break up with me.’ He knew their relationship wasn’t destined to last longer than this school trip, and right after they got out Hajime would realize there are thousands of better people than Nagito is and he would quickly abandon him. However, the white-haired boy sincerely wished their relationship would last longer than 2 weeks. He felt his eyes water.

‘You know… We’ve been together for a while and… um, I was just wondering if you weren’t interested in doing something more?’

Huh?

‘I mean, I definitely don’t want to pressure you or anything! But… just in case you wanted to try something with me I hope you know I wouldn’t be opposed.’

Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh?

‘Nagito? Are you okay? You’re kind of more pale than usual.’

Was Hajime asking him what Nagito thought he was asking him? But there wasn’t any other way to interpret his words, was there? Nagito could explode from the raw happiness he was feeling at the moment.

‘I’m okay, don’t worry. More importantly, are you sure you want to have sex with lowly wor-‘ Hajime cupped his cheeks and effectively shut him up.

‘Nagito, firstly, of course, I’d like to eventually… do ‘it’ with you, as much as I love you romantically, I find you appealing sexually. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it takes me like five minutes of being near you to pop a fucking boner. Secondly, I didn’t say it had to be sex, I mean I was kind of thinking of it, but it really doesn’t have to be. If you are not feeling ready I don’t mind waiting until you do. And we can do something non-sexual.’ Hajime was looking deep into his eyes, he seemed completely determined to get his point across to Nagito. At the same time, he was visibly embarrassed, the white-haired boy thought there wasn’t anything cuter than shy Hajime.

Nagito grabbed his boyfriend’s hands and tangled his own fingers with his, ‘Hey, honey, you really don’t have to worry about me so much, I also want to do things with you. I’m okay with whatever you want to do to me. Hajime, feel free to use me. You can fuck me if you want to, or just use my hands or mouth. I don’t care, I’ll be happiest if I manage to bring you pleasure!!’

Yeah, okay… this wasn’t entirely true. In fact, Nagito was far from feeling ready to have actual sex with penetration and everything, even if he was one to be on top. But in case Hajime asked for it, he wouldn’t mind. Nagito would do anything for him, after all, it was his comfort that mattered.

However, Hajime didn’t seem pleased with his answer at all. It was a complete opposite! His expression was a true definition of worried. Did Nagito perhaps fuck up?

‘You say it a lot, you know about it? That you’ll just go along with whatever I want. When we are just hanging out in the park it doesn’t matter, but this is different. It would be a pretty big step in our relationship, not only that, it’s actually something quite important event in one’s life. Look, I value a lot how much you think of me and how you want to do anything and everything for me, but I want the same for you. If I were to hurt you somehow, even when you’d pretend it wasn’t me, I’ll suffer too. Because I love you and value your consent. Nagito, if being used by me is what you desire I’ll do it, but is it really?’

‘I’m sorry, it seems when I’m trying to be selfless I end up being trice as selfish as usual.’ Nagito buried his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck and embraced him.

‘You don’t have to apologize, we have mouths so we can to talk about this stuff.’ Hajime was gently rubbing his back. ‘So… you have something you’d like to try with me. Mind sharing?’ Despite the effort, he put into sounding as gentle as possible, Nagito was still able to hear a smirk in his voice.

There was, as a matter of a fact, a lot he wanted to do, but with just a few of those things he was currently comfortable. That left him with a couple of options. He decided for the one that would not freak out his lover and couldn’t go wrong.

‘It’s kinda vanilla, but what about jerking each other off, or maybe frotting? That’s a good thing for a start, right?’

‘Okay, your wish is my order, princess. Let’s get you in the mood.’ With that, Hajime pushed Nagito into the mattress, pinned his hands above his head and attacked his mouth and with his free hand traced lines across his chest and abdomen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and encouraging comments give me validation and will to write faster. Critical comments help me improve my writing. So if you enjoyed this work, please leave at least one of those ♥.  
> Happy Homestuck day cowards :o)  
> I also made a [Tumblr](https://iamnotyouraverageoctopus.tumblr.com/), so talk to me there if you want :))  
> 


End file.
